Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Chuga Chuga Choooo Chooooo!!!

So I took the train up the coast from Los Angeles, CA to Seattle, WA and I must say I feel my trip was rather successful. First off, my seat was the roomiest because I was in the first row of seats in my car. CHING! Second off, the first 13 hours and last 8 hours I didn't have a seat partner. And thirdly I had a lot of amazing (and many first time) experiences! Such as? Being offered pills, pot and alcohol in one sitting (first time experience) and seeing the sights around me change as I traveled through three states and many regions. I saw coastlines, forests, snowy mountain tops, warehouses, homeless camps, city lights and so much more. The most difficult part of the train ride for me was trying to sleep. I didn't want to miss anything even if it was dark outside and there wasn't much to miss, and it's uncomfortable trying to fall asleep in the confines of your own chair space...

Well, now I am at my hostel and it's my birthday still so I am going to attempt to recruit some talkative people in the room over to go get a drink with me or play a game or something...tomorrow is going to be even more fun. I heard talk of trampoline tag and although I don't know what that is, it sounds like fun!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

And they thought it was funny

Every so often I see my dad. Today happened to be one of those days because the 'every so oftens' also usually correlates with a special event or holiday. If you have been keeping up with my life then you will know that soon will be a special event (me leaving school and the state) and my personal holiday (birthday) So, naturally, it was time to see my dad.

We began the night by meeting at his new almost up-scale home in fashionable Laguna Beach at a dinnerly time (7pm). We then went to a different fashionable city (Dana Point) to have a finger licking good dose of BBQ, with some vegetables on the side. It was nice to see my dad, have a good meal, a good beer to go with the good meal and to have some other wonderful people around me too-sisters, sister's friend, step-brother, step-mom (the usual)

Lets get to where the story thickens: And They Thought It Was Funny
At this meal there was the passing of Christmas presents (to me) because I had neglected to visit on Christmas. It was during this passing of  presents that I received The Pants. I capitalized The Pants because they are that important. It began as a joke, a gag gift, if you may. But ended in a huge smile and a "I can't wait to wear these out in the REEEEAAAAL world!" in a high pitched very enthusiastic voice, MY voice.

The Pants are wool. They are striped green and yellow. They have little polka dots. They sit (if you wear them correctly) high above the belly button. And they are mine. And I love them and they look good with my new Guess rubber boots that I bought at Macy's for 50% off to wear at my new soon to be location: Goat Farm.

Pants that were given to me as a gag gift, I think gagging me for what they have interpreted as my new hippy way of life, were welcomed with open arms. The Pants are kind of weird, a lot ridiculous but very much reputation making as what I would interpret as 'this girl has chutspa' and they may make me feel better for having to leave behind all of my shiny decorations as I begin my journey in a few days. I won't have decorations for my room, so I will adorn my body in fashionable decor instead...like these new striped and spotted wool pants.

I feel my wardrobe is now complete.
I feel like I may be off on my way.
I feel ahhhhmazing

And they don't even itch.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

First off, I get to keep Zayda! It took almost losing him to another family for reality to hit my mom that if he goes away he doesn't live here anymore! I'm glad it's working out that he gets to live with my mom permanently now and that I can go off on my way knowing he is somewhere safe and loving. My entire family loves him and many people check into the house to play with him during the week.

With that stress out, it brings me to my current question of Train or Plane?
I finalized my start date in Washington for the 28th of this month and now I need to decide and book my travel. If I take the train it will take me a day and a half to get to Seattle. If I take a plane it will take two and a half hours. The train would give me a chance to put a check mark next to that line of 'go for a train ride'. I like public transportation and the many things it can do for people and though sitting on a seat for a long period of time in a vessel on a track can sound slightly...unappealing, it sounds like a fun adventure. Another thing I'm taking into consideration is my 22nd birthday, which is next wednesday. Do I want to be around people I know on my birthday or will being around 'strangers' be alright with me on that day. But then again, I'm not much of a celebrator when it comes to traditional holidays or traditional stuff. I am more of a happy go lucky celebrate random things and have random celebrations when they feel needed and that often doesn't occur on designated days of celebration. So maybe I will leave on my birthday, or the day before, actually. Exciting!

Life has a lot of change and lot of room for improvement and growth. I like that. Actually, I LOVE that. I'm ready to be out wandering by myself and learning how to get around independent of others. I went through my stuff again to see what I want to take with me, which is not much. Now I have to pack the stuff I would probably need in the future and donate the rest of it. It's slightly nerve racking that my journey is going to be me, my backpack and whatever I want to put in my backpack! And a happy face, of course. Still I need to get some warmer layers, some boots and a pocket knife. Yeah, a pocket knife...yipes!

Today I also chopped my hair off! No longer is it all the way down my back. It now rests at my shoulders, just long enough to be in a pony tail. It was a slightly impulsive decision. I walked in to a salon, made my one request for hair long enough to be in a pony tail, and walked out with short hair!

With so much change in the air I can't help but to breathe in deep and enjoy it!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Responsibility.

Just over a year ago I was blessed with my new best friend named Zayda. He has four legs with four fluffy paws, a bushy tail, cute beady eyes and a tongue that graces your hand or face right when you need it. He needed a home and I swooped in and gave him one. Yet however much I may have helped him, I feel selfish that I didn't give him a home that could have kept him for the rest of his life. He's almost three and already has at least three different places to rest his little sweet head. It makes me really unbearably sad to think about that fact.

Now I have to face reality. And that reality is that it would be selfish for me to keep him any longer. My home is my mother's home at the moment, and soon my home is the road of the unknown. This leaves little to no room for Zayda. I won't say I have not had many nights dreaming of taking him with me but then I come back to reality. I remember that my little best friend gets tired after walking a mile and prefers playing with toys that squeak rather than chasing after sticks in the woods. He would probably die instantly if he saw a bear. Not quite the kind of dog that you can take out on a rural adventure. I also make myself remember that I won't have a home after I leave my mom's house at the end of this month and that he, my little best friend, deserves a home.

That's why responsibility is such a hard thing, especially when it comes to those you love. I am responsible for thinking of what may be better for him, his life. And as hard as it is to face, and as much time as I spend trying not to face it, his life would be a lot better with a family that can shower him in constant love and in one stable house. His life would be more fulfilling to grow up with some little kids, or to keep an older person youthful with his puppy like ways. It brings me to tears, makes my lips tremble and my heart hurt, but it's true that Zayda deserves better. Better is what I aim to give him and will give him because I love him so much.

In the past year Zayda taught me what it's like to use your last twenty dollars on dog food instead of that cd you've been dying to buy for the past month. He showed me how it feels to be so protective you drill whoever is thinking about taking him out to the park three times and then make them repeat everything you told them back to you to be sure they were listening. We gave each other trust and love and many nights spent on the couch watching Gilmore Girls. Together we have gone on walks, been to the dog park, had field trip shopping expeditions and been flat out lazy lounging around the house all day. And now I want to give him the real home that he really is deserving of. And I want to give that to him because I love him more than I thought possible for me to love anything right now.

These next few days are going to be the hardest for me. Then the next few months. It was hard for me to leave him this past summer. I missed him constantly, cried occasionally, and was always gushing to my co-workers about what a great dog he is and showing them all the pictures and videos I had on my laptop and phone. Me and Zayda will always have our bond and that's really what I need to think about. He's not dead, he's just getting ready to start making memories with someone new. That's why I'm excited for him. I hope that the home I find or turn him over to gives him everything and more, because that is what he needs, and deserves.

Responsibility.