Monday, March 30, 2009


Ok, so my brunch didn't go to plan. First because I was (am) by myself. Secondly, because it's too early and I ate my food already. FRICK! WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THAT?!

Let me tell you how I did it.

So first, I walked into the kitchen. I surveyed the area. Look to the left, look to the right, hmmm...hmmmm...uh huuuh. Decision making time. We didn't have any good bread/ I didn't want to have to butter and toast it for my framed goodness. SO, I opted on the tiny tortillas in the fridge. I took those suckers out, along with ONE egg (I didn't need to be a fatass and have two) and hummus (I really like hummus).

Then I stood in front of the oven for awhile.

How do I turn this on? I thought to myself. There are the knobby things, I turned one of them and TA-DUH! flames emerged from the...flame makerers! I found myself a tiny pan, cracked the egg, and let it ooze to the silver pan that was waiting eagerly to cook the poor almost never really a baby chicken. It just sat there for awhile. The ooze did.

I turned the flame up.

Then it started to crackle and turn and burn (yeah, gray smoke arose), so I turned down the flame and scraped the earlier ooze but now yellow chunky substance around the pan for awhile. After prodding it with the spatula, I decided it was done. I chinked it onto a nearby plate. Then I grabbed the baby tortilla and "heated" that. I put that under the egg chunk. The tortilla, I did.

Suddenly I remembered that last night I ate at Macaroni Grill and I took out the left over Chicken Paremsan that I had! I chopped off a piece of that and threw it into the pan. For some reason I thought I was becoming chef status, and wanted to...sautee? it. I don't even know what Sauteeing is, to be quite honest. BUT, I wanted to do that. So I threw the chicken pieces in and they started to sizzle and pop (quite literally) I then put them onto the tortilla with the egg. Then I took a lump of hummus and literally flicked it onto the mass of food.

After, I took the salt and pepper and sprinkled that onto all of my creation because I see people do that a lot. So I did that. Then I rolled it together. The tortilla around my mass of food.

I took my first bite.

The tortilla was luke warm, the egg oozed out of its seemingly cooked edges, the chicken was freezing (the pan seriously did nothing, I should have microwaved it) and the hummus just kind of squeezed around everything, like a sealant. It was actually not that bad, but next time I think I'll let someone else cook for me. I'll probably have food poisoning tonight. or this afternoon. I am unsure as to how long it takes for my body organs to digest. I should figure that out. I will know soon.

So, that was my update. On my breakfast. I'm still hungry.
Maybe I'll eat a banana.

I can't wait for lunch.

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