Saturday, March 13, 2010

I've had an abundance of thoughts lately. Thoughts that are just beyond my words to describe to the point that I am ready to give up on thoughts. Thoughts run a muck through my brain and bring back memories I've fought hard not to relive.

I just got out of the shower and I realized that I am actually scared to reminisce. Scared! Who'd a thunk that?! I am now acknowledging that I am in fact scared to remember because I am scared to relive the emotions and the bad thoughts I was having during those past points in my life. It's silly, but it's my reality. But I find my strength in knowing that I am scared of that, because I don't let it ruin my life. I just tell myself happy thoughts and work with and move beyond it. Because really, I don't think it does anything to forget or repress thoughts and emotions. It's better to acknowledge, accept and grow and move forward.

Anyways. I was taking my shower and I realized that I remembered my dream from last night!

I was going on a hike with my friend through the woods, which happened to have lots and lots of bears. I happen to be scared of bears. So walking, we looked ahead and saw a group of elementary school students out on a school trip. So we followed them. While following them though, a group of bears came up! I had constantly told myself that bears wouldn't approach big groups of people and that I would be fine and BAM! bears! So I had to walk through a flock of bears. And I lived. But then I started thinking of my knowledge I had  about the difference between black bears and brown bears and their personalities. (Black bears are more dangerous). So continuing walking, I became a leader for the little kids somehow and they were getting scared with all of the bears so I had to be brave. Then all of a sudden a bear came running at one of the students I was watching after and I had to jump in front of the student and make a loud noise and make myself big to get the bear to run away. So the bear went running and was gone for awhile when one came running back and this time it bit me! But I pushed it off and we continued because I wasn't hurt. I was even bit again by a different bear! And I was fine! We continued walking and I had to walk by a bunch of bears over and over again. Then we were done. The moral of the story? Bears aren't that scary, and even if something did happen, I would probably live. And bears can be many things and not just bears...

the. end.

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