Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I go in and out of phases CONSTANTLY of where I want friends and where I do not want friends. Right now, I want the friends that I have, the ones that I have found a strong interest/bond in and with. I don't feel like getting to know others, I don't feel like putting up with unneeded bullshit for people that I don't care about. I feel bad saying, or admitting, that but it is the truth.

As a result of this consistent phase, wanting and not wanting friends, my personality changes. I go from being very outgoing, happy, a pleasure to be around to irritated, annoyed, bitchy and a pain. I want my space. I want to sit by myself. I want to think about things.

[[More things that are on my list of things that I am trying to fix]]

I believe that it is these qualities that keep me from liking anyone for long periods of time, relationship wise. I like things in spurts, in bits and pieces; I like things to change. I mean, there are times when I really want the same person and things around me all the time, but mostly that's not the case. At least, that is what I have discovered when writing things in my journal and talking to my sister and some friends.

I am still figuring things out.
I'm definitely going to be back editing this tonight.

Like I said:
I'm still figuring things out.

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