Sunday, April 5, 2009


Random people, events and things. That is what my life is made up of. I get asked "wait, so how did you meet him?" quite often. Well, lets see...

A distant internet relation that somehow became reality
the bus
a club
a friend's friend
a class
the library
and all the little minglings that happened in between?

I'm far from a slut or whore. (you'd be surprised)
I just talk to a lot of people.
I have a lot of curiosity.

Also, I tend to meet the most people when I don't want to meet people. When I am in the shittiest of moods and hate life. It's like my curt tongue draws them in. I can look up and just know that they are dying to say something so I'll say something smartass that SHOULD get me a slap in the face, but instead gets me a new acquaintance, dare I say friend.

It's probably the most frustrating part of my life.

I can make friends when I am a horrible person. Why would I want to be a better person if people will take me as a shitty assed scummy being? I am not sure. But I do. I constantly want to be the next step up. The next best thing. BUT I am constantly having to rebuild myself.

Have you heard the saying "take one step forward and two steps back" ?

Well, I took my step forward and now I am taking my steps back. Slowly though I will be back to where I was to take more steps forward and (hopefully) fewer steps back. It will take time and a lot of determination, but I will do it. I always do.

On a side note.
Today I was told that I needed to get my lip pierced. My response: "are you calling me bitchy?"
I also remembered a preliminary question that I would ask new guy friends : "If we were suddenly attacked by ninjas, would you beat them up for me? or would you run?" If they hesitated they were out. If not, they had a chance. I'm sure I'd be able to beat up my own ninjas, but it'd be nice to know that someone else would want to for me as well.

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