Tonight I found myself talking in circles, I found myself not being able to focus on what was being said, I found myself staring at you and just getting myself into a nervous frenzy. I found myself realizing that you were awaiting an answer to a question and then getting embarrassed because I had forgotten you were talking because I was absorbed in watching your facial expressions. ...I found myself making a total ass of myself? Yeah, you can say that.

After more than five hours of conversation, three of those with a water bottle being turned and twisted about in my clumsy hands, I finally decided it was time for me to leave. Because I am supremely awkward I got up to throw away the water bottle and then threw a few parting words in your direction down the hall and then I ran out the door. Basically. I have taken to running out doors lately, my nerves get the best of me. I'm not much of a touchy person and thinking of what may happen upon parting makes me sick. I prefer to avoid hugs and all that stuff until I know what is going on. Anxiety ridden. Quick exits. Key to not being successful.

So,
sorry if I abruptly changed in demeanor and bolted for safety

And,
thank you for not running after me or doing the walk to the door/car

Friendship; so nice yet so very confusing,
Christina

Dinner:

I attempted to make Udon soup tonight. By make I mean boil water, add Udon-ness and the little flavor packet and serve. Somehow I made it wrong, or so it seemed. I boiled the water, then I added the noodles. It just...didn't look right. The noodles weren't all in water and THAT seemed odd. I made it work though, I just, you know, swirled them around til they separated and then added a flava flav and poured it all in a bowl. YUMMO!

Then, as an encore, I ate some string cheese. MmmMmmm cheese!

Now? Probably will get a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with ALMONDS! served with soy milk, not milk milk.

Seriously, such a great night. I mean, what can get better than, like, making dinner and having a night in? And YES, I CAN say that I made dinner because I added ingredient(s) and didn't cruise through a drive-thru. Not that I normally go to fast food places. I usually just starve, in case you were wondering. And not because I want to be skinny (although I wouldn't mind that) but because I don't want to clean up dishes, or wait for water to boil.

On another note. Who wants to serenade me? Anyone?
...thanks :)

I just want to be a harbinger of DOOM today, or maybe of cheer.
I haven't decided quite yet.

On another note, I have been listening to the Michael Jackson myspace page ALL WEEKEND. Last night I watched the music videos on VH1. Dearest Michael will be missed.

*To catch up on all of your latest celebrity deaths check out THIS or THIS website. *

On another other note, this morning I made some vast realizations. One such realization was that I enjoy laundry not because of the clean clothes the laundry process creates, but because of the lint that drying your clothes produce. Yep. I enjoy emptying the lint holder more than wearing clean clothes. I mean, wearing clean clothes is nice, but emptying the lint holder. Man, that is the best feeling in the world. So... rewarding.

*outtie*
<3 Christina

The past two days I have been driving around in complete bliss. Seriously, a smile plastered to my face. I can't help it.

My music.
My speed.
My sing-a-longs
My quirky conversations with the radio.
Me
Me
Me
MINE!

It's also nice to be able to curl up in the driver seat and just...sit. A month of not being able to do that has driven me crazy so I've been doing a lot of catching up with my seat. You know, by sitting and curling and listening to my music in my wonderful wonderful car. I love being able to use my iPod again too, and I love having freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!<3

Other than that bizznazz,
this morning I woke up late and made my friends, unintentionally, rearrange their plans for me. this afternoon I took my car in for a check-up and went to lunch with a dear friend t
his evening I babysat and dealt with a lot of ...shit (the real kind and the figurative type)
tonight I had a great soy latte and some decent conversation .

..and between all that? I DROVE! and JAMMED to my MUZAK! did I tell you how excited I am to FINALLY have my car back? I did? Well here it is again: I LOVE HAVING MY CAR BACK!

ATTN: EVERYONE

I got my car back.
(insert cheers here)

Other than that, today I made a grandpa Mexican looking dude smile because I said hi to him on the bus. He had a gold front tooth. That tooth made me quite happy. Why? Because it looked happy, the way it gleamed in the sunlight. Oh sparkles, glints and shines and the effects they can have on human emotion.

Other than that news, I had a casual encounter with a man at a coffee house. He looked at me. I looked at him. He played on his computer looking busy, I talked to my friend and was actually busy. That was the extent of the encounter. Also at the coffee house (well outside in the parking lot) there was a very tanned and very fat white man in a child molester white van with his octopus arm sticking out the window. It made my friend not only squeal in joy, but cringe in horror. Quite the sight. Also Also, a motorcycle policeman came into the coffee shop as well. We noted that his boots looked super pleather plastic-ish and fake. Like a mix of the boots from Clockwork Orange and the squeaky boots from that one episode of Spongebob. You know what boots I am talking about...

I need to catch ya'alls up on my funny observations. I have an entire notebook full of them, again.

Hope that it has been an absolutely great day,
Christina

I am?

Still addicted to this song, I am. It's a perfect blend of everything needed in a song (according to me= off off off with your head). Who cares if everyone and their mom is listening to it. It puts me at ease. It creates a calm in my heart when calm is needed.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
by UniversalMusicGroup

I also am in love with this song. Another on the favorite list, for sure.

p.s.- chelsey, this was the song I was telling you about after that one in the car.

Bisbee Highlights!

Please, don't mind the horrible quality. It won't upload the better quality one/I don't know how. SOOOO enjoy this one. It's raw. Uncut. (ish). AND, I thought it was kind of funny.

Enjoy.

Know how I know we're good friends?

...we go on amazingly fun trips and take brilliant pictures together, that's how.

**BONUS!!!**

ahhh I love it when my neck, chin and face blend all into one, it's what makes the boys come back for more.

GUESS. WHAT.

I am going to ARIZONA in four and a half hours! In that time I need to take a shower, finish preparing my stuff and then close my eyes for the remainder of it. OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN!

It's going to be two (+ ish) days of WONDERFUL WONDERFUL adventuring!

I'm excited.

I enjoy the act of embarrassing myself WAY too much.
This enjoyment is more of a love/hate enjoy.

...yuh feel me on that?

My friend showed me this the other day and it is.....beyond funny. I should really keep up on what goes on in the tv world, and stuff.

last night's crusades

I closed my eyes. I opened them. I then closed them, again. This time I felt like they wanted to stay closed. Laying there, in my small twin bed, my back started to ache so I turned to my side. Now it was starting to get too hot. fuck, did someone turn on the heater? I did the one leg twist out of the cover so that half my body was comfortably under the comforter and the other is out. Feeling much better I started to drift off, I had finally left my thought and worries for the day.

Next thing you know I'm springing up from my bed, still half asleep, and ready to pummel my laptop that was sitting on the ground. I held the frog stuffed animal that I sleep with now high, high up over my head.

I looked at the laptop, half ready to cry and trembling and half super, SUPER pissed off. I knew that my laptop was possessed, but I never thought I'd have to perform a quick exorcism on it- especially while half asleep. I don't even know how to DO an exorcism.

I sat on the edge of my bed, and stared at the black screen of the laptop that was oozing out odd noises that shouldn't be heard by a human being. Working my nerves up to touch the mouse pad, I was coming up with possible reasons that it might be spitting out this gook noise.

-super possessed
-a song is playing
-a crazy virus has taken it over finally
-it's preparing for 2012

I moved my hand and poised my fingers over the mouse pad. Closer, closer. come on, you have to will yourself to touch it. you won't know unless you touch it. come on, come on. My fingers went down and I touched the mousepad half dreading that I was going to be pulled into the screen a voice saying something like "YOU KNEW YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT! NOW YOU WILL LIVE IN THE UNDERWORLD FOR EVER AND EVERRRRRR." Actually, I wasn't half dreading it. I kind of wanted to go somewhere else.

Nevertheless, I touched the mousepad and the computer turned to life. It was a song. A song by The Unicorns. Jellybones to be specific. A relief and a disappointment at the same time. I pulled my legs back on the bed and began the tossing and turning, frog in tow.

I normally don't genuinely miss people,
especially ones that helped my thoughts go haywire,
but oddly enough...

I miss you

of all people, I know.



fml.

beat boxing glory

maaaaaaaaaaaaan, now I want to live in New YORK!

BEATBOXER from ulteriorproductions.com on Vimeo.

Right now I am this:merely dreaming of where I would like to go, and what I want to do...


But...

next week I will be THIS girl: being where she wants to be and doing what she wants to do!!!

Busy Bus Ride Tale

Waiting on the street, I had many people giving me those awkward glances. Ok, so what- I am taking the bus. Is that REALLY such a big deal?

Yes, I am a girl.
No, I do not appear to be poor.
No, I do not look Mexican.

Every time I wait for the bus there seems to be a person that pulls over, or into, the closest parking lot to see if I need a ride. That, or to tell me that there is a creeper nearby creeping.

*Notice: I am NOT a fragile little flower, though I may appear to be just that at times. *

Onward with the story. My bus came (five minutes late) so I got and it was a cute little Vietnamese driver and he was overly happy and asked me all these nice introductory get-to-know-each-other questions, and well, it was refreshing. Many bus drivers seem to hate their lives, so it's nice to be greeted with a smile when climbing aboard.

So, eventually, after many twists, turns and stops and goes we got to the end of the route where I got to get off. Well, me and the old man that were left. It was so much fun. I had about twenty minutes until my next bus so I went to the bathrooms and scoped out the area to make sure there weren't any extremely creepy creepers and then took my headphones out to listen to some music.

Two minutes after putting headphones in and connecting with the beat I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around. A tanned fat white dude holding a bottle that looked like it was filled with pee, was looking at me. I took a earphone out, "...yes?"

"Do yeh have the time?"
"3:25."
"Thanks, what bus are you waiting for?"
"the 1 South"
"Oh, does that go by Main Street?"
"yeah"
"Oh, but it doesn't go by the one in Santa Ana..."
"Well, no. It stays along PCH. So only the coastal Main steets..." I then started to walk away towards the other people that were waiting by the benches to get away from this looney. Reaching the bench, I was asked the time yet AGAIN.

"Miss, you have time?"
"3:30"
"oooh, three dirty, tres y media....thank you." I stopped and thought about it. Wait a minute, did he just translate the time into Spanish? That's not normal. I looked over his way slightly curious, wanting to know more, but keeping my distance at the same time.

We made eye contact.

"I tourist here from Mexico. I from Mexico."
"oooooooooh! cool!" He then went into his life story of how he is here for a custody battle over his daughter. Apparently his wife brought the daughter here illegally and now he's trying to get joint custody so he can bring her back to Mexico. Between all this he also has managed to get himself a job at a dry cleaners and wander around the Southern California area. So we talked about the weather and cool places and differences between here and Mexico City. He was particularly fond of the wood houses and not so much with the weather. I guess it's too COLD of all things. That was the first time I have ever heard that from ANYONE visiting California.

During our conversation, the man with the pee cup from earlier came back. Me and Mexico (Eduardo) learned that he is from Kentucky. We also learned that he is slightly looney. I also learned that when somebody says that people "usually know I am from out of the area by my hick voice" and replying "hahaha yeah" back can be taken as an insult.

...was I supposed to say no?

Finally our bus came and "god bless you"s were exchanged between Hick and Mexico, and me and Mexico went on our way. We were taking the same route. I got on the bus and looked around- it was a jackpot. Getting on I saw the nannies sitting in the front, then we had girls with luggage, dude with tattoo that was definite eye candy, typical hobo with sleeping bag and garb, blond girl from CSULB (yana) that everyone knows (whether they want to or not) because she talks forever, the scrawny indie kid with the hemp satchel bag, black thick framed glasses reading his indie book and then the assortment of asian/mexican/south american/whatever else workers in the back. We had a full house. I LOVED it.

Me and Mexico found a spot on the benches and the observations (and much amusement) began. Blond girl started talking to Mexico because she is a Spanish major and she likes to talk- she found her perfect unsuspecting subject. They talked until she got to her stop. Once she was off he looked at me and pointing at her walking away says, "nice girl." Me and eye-candy Tattoo dude started laughing. Poor Mexico, so naive.

Talking for a while longer (me and Mexico) we parted ways when I got off at my stop to walk home.

His last words to me:
"Have nice life. I hope to see you in the heaven."
I said thanks, wished him luck on his journey, flashed a smile and hopped off the bus.

Thirty minutes made a good day into a great day.



Last week I had fun on the bus too. There was a hobo dude playing with one of those Hasbro electronic game pens, and almost missed his stop because he was so involved in it. That was a first for me.

I have been making little observations and sketches in my journal. Maybe I will post them later.

I finally get to go to Bisbee next week.

Our plan?

We're going to hide out in the city (Bisbee) for a few days and then go spend a night in the forest and between all of that? lots and lots of driving and good music.

CANNOT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!

Jack/Crap/Jerk/[whatever you want to call it]-in-the-box. I know what you may be thinking. GROSS. VOMIT. DIARRHEA! Committing my bowels to hours of doom for a few moments of joy. You are oh so wrong.

Let the journey begin.

Well, I have been introduced to dear ol' Jack's JALAPENO POPPERS and let me tell you, they are WONDERFUL. I mean, a little green Jalapeno filled with some sort of delicious filling and with ranch to dip it in? The perfect blend of a spicy buzz and creamy goodness. Possibly a god's gift to the world. And the best part? You can get 7 of these delicious little popper's for $2.99. Can I get a HECKA HECKA YEAAAAH? thank you, thank you.

Other than that, tonight I discovered a very local and very much 24 hour donut store RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM MY HOUSE. Can I get a WOOT WOOT?! thank you, thank you. My sister and I were going to a different, earlier discovered 24 hr donut store when I saw the neon lit sign- *DOUGH BOY DONUTS- 24 HR*. I could hear the Bzzzz zzzz from the sign as we drove past the first time on PCH.

I screamed in joy.
"DOOOOOOOOOOOOONUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!!!!"
We did a bitch flip (U-turn) and were pulling into the parking lot within moments. This also happened to be the moment in which we discovered that this was the same parking lot that just so happen to also have the 24hr Jack-in-the-box. Heaven? Quite possibly.

A night of donut holes, cream puffs and Jalapeno Poppers= :)

On a another note, I am planning my move away from my little Huntington Beach room. The room that happens to be where I reside at my dad's house. All I have to do is like, raise ummm 1,000 or so dollars first. It also probably means that it is time to get a real job again. One that I go to every week.

I want to move somewhere that I can use public transportation and walk to get everywhere. My car has been broken for more than a "several weeks" and I don't miss it in the least bit. It's just chillin' in my mom's driveway a few miles away.

So my new goals:

• get a job job
• go to school
• move out
  

Operator

Operator: Thank you for calling Information, how may I help you?
Girl: Hi, yes. I am looking to have a good time, how may I go about doing that?
Operator: Do whatever the fuck you want, and don't ever think twice.
Girl: Is that all?
Operator: Well, yes.
Girl: Hmm.

I was catching up on one of my favorite art blogs and he posted this video that someone sent to him. I enjoyed it, and I enjoy enjoying things, so I figured why not let you enjoy it as well. The music is right and the animation is perfect and calming and well, enjoyable.



...and just fyi, the song is Autumn Story by Firekites.

Things to Remember:

And then? And then...
...just not somewhere that's TOO wild.

I enjoy watching squirrels scramble about.

That old man gave me an odd look. I shot one right back at him. SO WHAT IF I WAS VIDEO TAPING A SQUIRREL! ...stop judging me.

Ropes show the age of time and remind me of the sea.
Very nauti(cal).

I enjoy signs.

Green means GO.
...as in GO away.

Throwing caution to the wind.

Who's that?

Grandpa birds make me smile. See the old man-ish feathers?

I thought it was going to be a hippy/gangster couple. I talked to them later. I think they're from Louisiana, or something.
...not as cool.

More signs. More enjoyment.
The tagging was a bonus, I enjoy that too.

Focus on the now, and let the future come on its own.

The future is so...blurry.
So lets just forget about it.
ok?

...and I said, "what are you? SHREK?"
Get out of my swamp anyone?

Pretty.

Pretty.

who's that?

The gate to nowhere.

My friend decided to go to Yosemite with some other friendish people. I didn't go, obviously. Now I have several days (until TUESDAY) to kill, probably by myself.

Here's what I did today...

-woke up at 10am

-went to 7/11 with my sister and bought a slurpee

-took the bus to Bolsa Chica wetlands, with my backpack, and took pictures and shot mini videos for my next boredom project.

-Walked from the wetlands to the beach and tanned for thirty minutes. (yes, I wore my swimsuit)

-Took the bus BACK to my home, I was back by flippin THREE.

-Hung out with my sister and her boyfriend. We made carne asada tacos, apple martinis and ate salsa. Then we went to a coffee shop and listened to some live music.

...now I'm "catching up" on my internet. It's not even ten yet. FML.

Encore of Music for Change.
I'm addicted.

Playing For Change: Song Around The World "Chanda Mama" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Today was one of those days.

A quick video I made today:

Unfortunately, few pictures were taken today. The camera was low on batteries, which basically meant we only had space enough for vanity pictures. No wilderness today. Don't worry though, we will be back to this spot soon enough. We decided that we wanted to walk the trails until we made it to the "difficult" path.

How brave.
Courageous even?
Definitely.

I had the most wonderful adventure today.

First off, just let me share with you that I have been using public transportation and getting rides off friends for about three weeks now. My car broke. Living in Southern California I think that many people would have about died now, if they were in my shoes. Taking the bus is really no problem and I would rather do that then ask friends for a ride.

Personally, I enjoy people watching and I enjoy being about. The bus is perfect.

Now I may tell you that today, as a form of fun, my friend and I took the bus to go hiking. It was

SO. MUCH. FUN.

We went to El Moro Canyon near Crystal Cove, along Pacific Coast Highway. It was funny, we were trying to figure out what stop to get off the bus at and we finally decided and pulled the "stop requested" string too late and ended up in Laguna Beach and had to walk back along the road. I would say it was about a 1/2 mile. It was a very long, very narrow, very much apart of the road and a super steep incline type of walk.

Basically, we hiked to get to where we wanted to hike. Still very fun. I don't think many people would have enjoyed it, but we sure did.

Once we reached the the canyon we visited the Visitor Center, picked up a map of the route we wanted to walk, and checked out the wildlife warning exhibit so that we would be prepared. The route we decided to walk was considered "Easy", a little over 3 1/2 miles and was supposed to take about 2 hours. We considered it to be "slightly moderate" and walked it in a little over an hour.

Fun fact: Before we began our hike we learned that if bitten by a rattler (apparently it is Rattle Snake Season) you keep the area bitten below the heart, you stay calm and call 911. I know I got that wrong, or skipped a step, but we didn't need to use it. Thank goodness. If we did we probably would have died. Slowly and painfully.

Any who, while on our hike we saw beautiful mothish butterfly beatle things, heard delightful chirping birds, and watched bunnies bounding about. My friend also mistook a biker for a mountain lion and (almost) freaked. She claims it was a joke. It may have been, but at the time it didn't seem like it.

Upon the finishing of our hike we encountered two boyish men. We gave them a hearty congratulations as we sat on a rock, drank water and ate our granola bars. On our walk out of the park they drove past us and returned the "good job" cheers. It was quite enjoyable.

After that, we walked a little ways down PCH (again) and wandered into Crystal Cove. There we climbed some magnificent rocks in the ocean and watched the tides come in and out. We also may have made some friends with the local crab population.

Later we got back on the bus, off in Corona Del Mar and ate lunch. It was there that an old man, probably suffering from Dementia, looked me straight in the eye and told me "When you learn what is really going on here, you will be sorry." It sounded like a threat. It may or may not be important that five minutes prior to that I had asked him if he could move his arm so that I may use the other chair he was leaning on. Ten minutes after he told my friend and I that, he came back wanting to give us his business card. Strange events. Strange man. Interesting lunch.

The rest of the day we spent on and off the bus wandering to parks, through parking lots, at cafes and wherever the road could take us, or side walk (at times). I can honestly say it was fun filled, activity driven and jammed with amazing accents spoken by our fellow public transportation comrades.

At the end of the night we watched a lovely documentary on Train Hopping. Amazing. Along with inspiring.

Hope your day was just as lovely,
Christina